The biggest challenge yet…

I’ve been ‘trying’ for years. Literally, the past 10 years I’ve had in my head ‘I want to write a book’. I’ve tried. Many occasions, many ideas, many notebooks, many drafts, many hours and many word counts later… no book.

Am I approaching this whole book writing malarkey the wrong way? I’ve an ADHD brain and more often than not, that means doing things a little differently to how we’ve been taught, the ‘how to‘ doesn’t always apply to an ADHDer as it’s gotta utterly click. I can’t persevere. I’m not lazy, not all but I can’t just grit my teeth and get through it. I’ve tried that approach also and it sucks the life outta me. Why the fudge am I taking something that I love and making a hard to chew, fibrous meal out of it.

So, a new approach I shall try.

Firstly, word count. I was aiming at 1000 words with every sit down. I’m taking that pressure off the list as I’d not bother to even sit down and try if I felt failure before I began. Let’s take 1000 to 500 and if I manage 100, that’s bloody brilliant too as if those 100 words were 100 pounds, I’d be more than happy to see that accumulate over time.

Secondly, distractions. Im gonna get distracted. There is no way that I can sit for 2 hours and not get the urge to move or do something else quickly to shift attentions. So, let’s celebrate the distractions as part of the process, part of the flow. Maybe that distraction is allowing an idea to marinate. Maybe I need to move in order to allow a newness, a fresh sense of perspective to inspire my writing.

Which flows into thirdly, it needs to feel alive. Something I’m learning about the way I work creatively is that what comes through me has to feel like it’s got a life of it’s own. It’s breathing. A current that wants to move me and others in a very embodied and present way. The writing almost needs to feel like an organism that beats to its own drum. That without me, it still breathes and I’m purely channelling what’s already dancing around the ether. Basically the ideas are not mine but I give them life, in only a way I can, just as each artist has their stroke and each writer has their style, it’s all valid but there’s a uniqueness to explore within divine expression.

And with that, I know I’m to start on something new. I’ve been churning old stories over and over and it’s sat a little flat on the page. I can’t seem to let go of ‘but I wrote 30,000 words on this story’ and it’s been like a fudging chain. I can write 30,000 words again, or maybe I won’t and that’s ok too. Maybe I’ll write 15,000 and that will be enough, maybe.

Leap of faith! Whatever needs to come through, will come through (let’s make it good though 😅). Let’s get honest too, what do I actually want to write about, not what I think would look good on the page. That’s a flipping scary thought. Art is truth and that ain’t always pretty!

If I need to lay bare, I need to lay bare. HUGE respect for all the creatives who live their art and their art breathes life into others. Yes, I think I’m ready to step out of the safety box, I think.

Let’s see what happens….

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